Trigger Management

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.

- Proverbs 4:23-27, NIV

To say that the word “trigger” has become a polarizing term in our modern culture is perhaps a massive understatement. Depending on one’s political bent, it can be synonymous with fragility and an unwillingness to hear opposing opinions or if that isn’t your political persuasion then the word might spark thoughts of dominance and a lack of emotional safety. Or, maybe your mind takes a simpler approach to the word and you think only of hunting and weapons use. Regardless of your background, however, there is something to be learned from weapons and the function of the trigger in relation to our habits and compulsive behavior.

In terms of firearms (and if guns are not your forte, stick with me anyway), all breach-loading weapons function based on a cycle of the same eight steps. For reference, breach-loading firearms include pistols, most hunting rifles, and military grade assault weapons. Those eight steps are feeding, chambering, locking, firing, unlocking, extracting, ejecting, and cocking. Whenever the trigger is squeezed and a round is fired from a semi-automatic or automatic weapon during the firing cycle, these eight steps are automatically played out with nothing more than that simple act: a squeeze of the trigger.

We all have triggers in our lives; those moments in time that set off a series of subsequent events – ones which, if we don’t pay attention to - might seem random at a casual glance. It is in the examination of such events that we are able to uncover the pattern, or cycle, that leads us to our undesired thoughts or behaviors. We can easily recognize this as being true for innocuous things in our lives:

You smell pizza baking in the oven and it reminds you of your mom cooking pizza rolls for you and our friends after school.

A commercial comes on for a reboot of your favorite childhood TV show and a flood of memories washes over your mind about that one episode or character that still makes you laugh to this day.

In these scenarios there is an external event that sets a series of thoughts in motion, and prompts your mind to then cycle through a series of nearly-automatic processes. If we know this is true for the innocuous things in life, we would be naïve to think that it doesn’t happen for the more sinister parts of our lives.

We drive past an old dive bar where we used to get plastered and find the illusion of romance, and our minds begin to remember every sordid detail.

We find ourselves alone at home and a provocative advertisement shows up on our newsfeed, sending our thoughts to places we swore we would never go to again.

One practical strategy you can apply in your life if your goal is to change a habit or compulsion is to manage your triggers. This can be accomplished through two methods:

1. Eliminate all triggers that can be eliminated.

For some people, simply being home alone with an internet-connected device is a trigger for them to pursue looking at pornography. I have heard it said on more than one occasion that a spouse leaving for work in the morning is all someone needs for them to begin desiring pornography. If this is the case, eliminating the trigger of being home alone should be considered. Many coffee shops and public spaces offer free Wi-Fi that may be a suitable replacement environment.

For those who have a desire to stop drinking alcohol but can’t seem to make any headway, beer commercials might be a trigger. Marketing teams are well trained in the art of manipulation so it should not be a surprise when we are enticed by advertisements. Watching your favorite team play on Sunday night might be a routine for you, but if watching the game causes your mental train to leave the synaptic station then skipping a season might be in order while you work to retrain your mind.

2. Interrupt the triggers that cannot be eliminated

For those scenarios where the trigger cannot be eliminated, the next best option is to put blocks in place so that the remaining cycles cannot complete themselves. A common example that I use here is if you walk to the mailbox and someone jogs by on their morning run who you find attractive. This was not under your control, nor should you expect it to be, but it might have sent your mind and eyes down a path that you are trying to avoid.

When this happens, having the practical tools to help you interrupt the automatic firing sequence that starts in your mind is the only way to avoid a return to the undesired thought pattern or behavior. Calling a friend, running an errand, busying yourself with chores, or reading a calming book are all good options to consider whenever you experience a triggering event that cannot reasonably be eliminated.

This requires forethought and authentic conversations with friends who have agreed to help and hold you accountable. If you don’t have relationships like this right now, today is the perfect time for you to begin forming them.

The reality is that what triggers one person’s brain is not necessarily what will trigger another’s. The primary goal is not to eliminate every source of temptation but to discover what makes your brain unique. It is only in discovering how our mind works, and where our weaknesses are, can we ever make progress on avoiding the train wreck that comes from runaway thoughts.

Reflection:

1. What’s one external trigger that typically send your mind places that you don’t want it to go?

2. Is this trigger something you can eliminate, or one that you have to interrupt?

3. What step can you take today to accomplish this?

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