Who Do You Want To Be?

I was recently in a meeting that was probably quite ordinary for most of those in attendance, but it was far from ordinary for me. At the center of the meeting was a relatively small decision that would have a fairly big impact on the culture of the organization and as a result, its reputation. I never got the chance to say this during the meeting, but the question that popped into my head is what kind of organization do you want to be? It likely would have seemed out of place in this meeting because, as I said, it was an otherwise ordinary meeting.

See, the reputation and culture of an organization is not determined merely by a set of policies but by every decision made at every level, at every moment of every day. The reputation of an organization-whether they are viewed as fair or unfair, high or low quality, trustworthy or dishonest-is the culmination of the many small decisions made by its people. This is true whether we look at a Fortune 500 company, a small mom and pop corner store, or a non-profit ministry.

This is why companies do their best to hire carefully. Careless hiring eventually leads to a misalignment of the company’s values, culture, and reputation. When this happens, it takes far more effort to correct the misalignment then it does to maintain a healthy alignment.

Well, why have I said all of this? How is this related to habits in any way, shape, or form?

Because this principle is also true for us as individuals.

One research team estimates that the average human makes over 35,000 conscious decisions every day (Sollisch J 2016). Similarly, Cornell University conducted research that shows we humans make, on average, over 200 daily decisions related to food alone (Wansink & Sobal 2007). Yup, you read that right.

Every decision we make alters, many times in an unobservable fashion, the direction and culture of our lives. It isn’t just the massive decisions such as where to live, what job to take, or who to marry that affects our lives. In fact, what we decide in those big moments is often the byproduct of what we have decided in the 34,999 moments preceding that one.

So back to my ordinary meeting. The question I walked away from that meeting with is what kind of person do I want to be? Do I want to be someone who is two-faced or authentic? Do I want to be someone who is easily shaken by life’s crises or someone who can withstand the many challenges of life on earth? Do I want to be someone who is enslaved to their desires or someone who is living free indeed?

Once I have that decided, it then becomes easier to make decisions that support that goal.

I want to be someone who is authentic > I will be honest with loved ones

I want to be someone who is not easily shaken > I will build my life on something unshakable

I want to be someone who is free from destructive habits > I will get accountability and do the work

The reality that we often overlook in the mundane decisions of daily life is that every small decision of today makes small course adjustments that impact what our lives will be like in a decade or thirty years from now. This disconnect causes us to look only at the present need and to make decisions based solely on that current circumstance.

This becomes problematic when we are presented with alcohol to calm our nerves for today, a sugary snack to fulfill our appetite for now, or the porn to stave off our loneliness for the moment. It becomes problematic when the shame of yesterday's decision keeps us from engaging in community today. It becomes problematic when we suddenly realize that the cumulation of millions of small decisions has led us somewhere we never intended to be.

So, what kind of person do you want to be?

If you’ve enjoyed reading this, please like and share it with your friends.

Sources:

Sollisch J. The cure for decision fatigue. Wall Street Journal 2016

Wansink, B. & Sobal, J. (2007). Mindless eating: The 200 daily food decisions we overlook. Environment and Behavior, 39:1, 106-123.